Events that you can't seem to run from.

You know in life how there are things that you can't wrap your head around, the ones that leave you asking WHY? (Yes, In all caps)

There are things, people, events, anything really that happens and seems to inevitably reoccur something that you had to put up with as a child and teen because you have no way out, under the parental rule and all. What happens when it reoccurs in adulthood and you aren't sure how to handle it, you were forced to put up with some level of abuse but now you can run from it. So do you?

When your mind scream yes, does your heart counteract, after all the abuse in  your family,someone close to you. You never had the greatest relationship with them and can see life being easier without putting up with their crap but there's your old heart driving you to bind the wrongs and give another chance, but the events reoccur and the mental abuse is on the seam of reappearing do you run and hide or cut all ties before the can of worms comes busting out.

All you've ever wanted was a relationship with them and they have continuously walked on eggshells, one mistake and it should be through, at least that's what your brain says, but then there are your heart and this chance it's screaming!

I've mentioned this family member before and she's back at it again, this time she moved two states to be closer to me and my son. Letting bygones be bygones I toughed it out until I got a call. The friend of my mother calls to tell me that my mother was drunk and this wasn't the first time. My worst possible fear kicked up, that old habits were spilling from the seems and I would not be at the receiving end this time BUT SHES YOUR MOM. My heart and head screamed this time.

I drove to her and confronted her while she was drunk, she lied to my face more than twice, I left, gave it a day and went home, there she was lying to me again. I confronted her and she told me the truth.

Long story short, I gave her an ultimatum, if she didn't stop that she wouldn't be around my children. she promised she wouldn't any longer. Two days ago, another call this time it;s whisky and she's plastered again. Then she lied about something so small again.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I know that I can't help her and I know that my heart hurts for her.

I don't understand an alcoholics mind but I know that all I've ever truly desired was that relationship with my Mother, and that is why falling into old patterns and giving out chances comes in a split decision and is so easy to fall into, I feel like Im falling back in time and Im torn.

Thanks guys
Madye

Never in a million

Never in a million would I think that from birth to now that the world would fall farther into darkness.


Why should I have thought any different with the lash backs from mother nature and the crazy weather? The signs of the damage are there not only in a natural sense but in a human way as well.

We have evolved a long way sure but are we falling into a pit of self-destruction? maybe we have been following this path since man was first made. who knows really?

We are intelligent creatures who have done brilliant things who have learned taught and introduced others to incredible things. Look at technology and how far it has come the evolution of technology has evolved as fast as humans and could very well meet its demise when the human race does.

I know not a very promising thing to think about but it's the truth riots, fights, deaths? look at all the dark activity that surrounded 2016 are we becoming primal once again? I guess if you truly believe that we once evolved from apes.

There is always a chance that the majority can pull their heads together and bring this spiral to a screeching halt. If you are like me and have a family you don't want your children growing up in a world full of hate. You want them to experience life and to its fullest.


So, never in a million years would I have guessed that time would spin backwards that the world would collapse onto itself slowly but surely.

The world has seen many things since its start its been around for billions and it will continue to push on even after we are all washed away.

I'm scared, I truly am and I don't frighten easy. I am scared that any bad thing could happen at any moment and it'll be too late. Really think about this, take a look at the way people communicate and the laziness that has come with caring for our planet, count how much crime has exploded all in a short amount of time. Look at the fact that we don't treat one another with the utmost respect. That there is still racism and stereotypes not only in the media but in the various cultures that make up the world. Just look its plain to see that NEVER IN A MILLION..


Thanks guys.
Madye